tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19394085163797649792024-03-13T11:00:12.163-07:00Chammak ChalloAnother Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-31279642437122429092012-10-09T07:02:00.001-07:002012-10-09T07:03:16.777-07:00A tragic end but can light come of it?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I read about <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varsha_Bhosle">Varsha Bhosle's</a> tragic end in the papers yesterday. About a decade ago, I used to follow her columns online and was transfixed by her passions and her writing style. While I did not nod agreement with what she wrote, I thought she was brilliant. I was very disappointed when I began to less and less of her columns, and wished that she took pen to paper again if only to be a counterpoint to some of the journalism of the day.</div>
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What a terrible and tragic end is the first thought that comes to mind... a life is wasted, but then I remember the crushing pain of depression that I have observed amongst close friends and family who suffer through it. It is a pain that is a part of you, something that cannot be transcended by pills or cutting off a body part. It is literally a suffering inside your very soul. Relief comes only in the idea of being able to escape this soul, escape to another dimension or living in an alternate reality. I cannot fully understand the courage or the despair it takes to turn the switch off, but I hope to be able to accept my own ignorance about what goes on in another's life and head, at least enough not to be judgmental about the decision taken by her.</div>
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Someone that I usually respect for their informed opinions, wrote about the daughter not honoring all that her mother stood for...perhaps they meant the mother's fortitude or courage or joidevivre or whatever makes Asha Bhosle tick. That statement made me very angry. It is cruel and unusual punishment to make the suffering daughter responsible for the mother's honor and position in society.</div>
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It makes me sad that a means to end life was available to Varsha so easily considering that she had made an attempt to end her life before (per press reports anyway). What makes me sadder still is that no one famous or no one with name recognition, especially amongst her family has made any attempt to humanize or de-stigmatize mental illness in all the years they have known of her suffering. One word or a series of words from them or their famous friends will do so much to make the cultural and social sting of the words "mental illness" less deadly within Indian society. Perhaps then more people will seek treatment.</div>
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In her grief, Asha Bhosle (and all the people who love her and her daughter) can seek comfort in bringing light to the lives of so many suffering fellow Indians by taking away the stinging stigma of mental illness. By words, just by words, it costs nothing. Something can be done even if pockets are sewn up tight.</div>
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Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-77756671182823635252012-05-10T20:52:00.000-07:002012-05-10T20:52:08.880-07:00Did you see this?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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About a dozen people have sent me this video. Everyone told me that it was wonderful. It is supposed to be about "eve teasing". However I must use the words "supposed" and "eve teasing" only loosely and with irony.</div>
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I am truly appalled by this video. It looks to me like a film school graduation film. No more, no less. It sends the wrong message, examines nothing, gives voice to nothing and is no more than a gimmick. This supposedly light hearted approach trivializes what is a serious, and life altering and life threatening problem for almost all Indian women.</div>
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The filmmaker needs to understand the nuances in the depiction of irony whenever humor is used to address and examine issues of violence.</div>
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I am so sad that this film is going viral and just hope that more women do not identify with the tittering and vacous empty-threatmaking in the film.</div>
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Have you seen this film and what did you think of it?</div>
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</div>Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-91521220469629113992011-11-30T07:26:00.000-08:002011-11-30T07:29:22.708-08:00Culture Vulture etc! I know... I know... but I just HAD to!This song is so much fun! The lyrics come on in the first seconds. The song follows. So sing along. <br /><br />AND SING OUT LOUD! DANCE A BIT! MOVE THAT BOOTAY!<br /><br /><iframe width="459" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jM9s_A4PL5o?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe>Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-1827431400808434312011-11-23T07:32:00.000-08:002011-11-23T07:33:44.137-08:00Time to name the Bacchhan baby!Dear Bacchaan Parivaar ( I almost wrote Sahara Parivaar but that does not work anymore does it),<br /><br />First I must congratulate all of you and especially the mother who did all the hard work on the birth of the baby. The baby will bring everyone much happiness. For most people the happy and trying bits of parenthood brings to the fore facets of our feelings and personalities that complete us all as human beings.<br /><br /><br />And then ofcourse... because it is me writing this and I am a cynic for the most part...<br /><br />Oyee Bacchhan family... is all this asking for name suggestions to make up for not inviting a whole lot of people (who happen to be a teensy bit mad about it even now) to the wedding of the happy parents? If that was such a private happy occasion (and it is rightly so) why should'nt the process of naming the baby be equally private? You are going to name the baby exactly what you want anyway and you have that whole lexicon of Harvanshrai's literary works to use for inspiration, so why the "name our baby please" ploy? Hey, I gotta admit, it is a very cost effective PR excercise though. Everyone feels included and yet everyone gets to be dissapointed at their suggestion not being chosen! However, I have full confidence you will find the name that pleases your family with absolutely no outside help at all.<br /><br />But you have asked so I shall proceed to beg you to please, please, please stay away from all currently trendy "indo-global" names especially any of the especially popular Russified or Arabicised versions of desi names. Tacky, tacky, tacky!<br /><br />Thank goodness the names Karan and Priyanka are fading into the distance. About 2 decades ago, it seemed like gali gali mein yet another baby was being called Priyanka or Karan. I am sure that when a mother calls out ... Priyanka... in any gali in Gurgoan, Calicut, Bhatinda or Shillong, a whole slew of teen girls answer ... Si mammina!<br /><br />Of course now all the grown up Karans and Priyanka's are naming their own kids Ishaan, Ishita, Amaan and Aryan or some Russianised or Arabised version of a moderately desi name. Same difference!<br /><br />Bacchhan family, you did very good with names like Shweta, Agastya, Navya Naveli, so crack open all those books written by the patriarch and get yourself a name indicating the culture this child will live it's first years in. Something that speaks to the child. Something that speaks for the child.<br /><br />It is not about how the name looks in neon lights in the future. It is about how much the child likes the name enough, to write it a few dozen times ...in cursive with decorated hearts all around ...all over the back page of an ink smeared, dog eared 5th standard math book.<br /><br />sincerely,<br />Mrs. Ashton Kutcher :)Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-776455838269797912010-02-22T11:37:00.000-08:002010-02-22T11:48:42.424-08:00My vice is greasy Samosas and I am not a skinny minnie!So I went to see My Name Is Khan .. all by my lonesome self. None of my friends seemed to want to admit liking SRK and seeing his films. I like him, I do, I do, and I so wanted to see it and more importantly to like it. <br /><br />Armed with Samosas and a coke, I slunk into a packed cinema theatre to watch this film on a Sunday afternoon. And what did I think?<br /><br />MNIK was a bore. Bilkul bore! I yawned, I fidgeted, I cracked my knuckles, I made noise crumpling up my greasy samosa wrappers. I just wanted it to be over!<br /><br />It seemed like someone sitting in a hermetically sealed library, took a stack of newspaper articles and fashioned a story about a place they had never been and people they had never met and a condition they had never encountered. <br /><br />9/11 and way it changed the American psyche is sooooooo much more complex than TeamKJo portrays. The film was extremely naive and color by numbers. <br /><br />Also I really, really hope that no rural georgia community gets to see the film else bechara Kjo will have his head handed to him on a pewter sunday roast platter while a gospel choir sings hossannas in the background, color purple style!<br /><br />The samosas were good though. Hindi movie theatre lobby food is getting better. That is the bottom line... and that my friends is not good for my bottom!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-64151361220280769142010-01-02T13:53:00.000-08:002010-01-02T14:16:49.620-08:00I went to see 3 idiots and instead saw a Pirate on the horizon3 Idiots.....<br /><br />I liked the film. It was good. Just that. Good. Made it to the Good category. By the skin of its teeth. Barely. Not a standout and not quite as smartly and tightly made as the first MunnaBhai. It was a good enough time pass and paisa wasool. Amir's enthusiasm is infectious. Kareena is pretty and has an adequate performance. Madhavan was stellar and the other fellow remained just that "the adequate other fellow". The movie was adequate in all the departments except for... DRUMROLL PLEASE... the darned script. Pesky things those scripts! If only movies did not need scripts we would all be Fellini. It was not a watertight script; which is what I was hoping for, being that there was actually a book published long enough ago, to lift the darned thing from!<br /><br />And hell yeah, the book (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Five-Point-Someone-What-Not/dp/8129104598/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262470479&sr=8-1">Five Point Someone by chetan Bhagat</a>) is definately the meat and potatoes of the script never mind what VVC and Co contend and froth at the mouth and deny. Anyone... even a pirate with a eyepatch... would be able to tell that if they have read the book and the seen the movie. Without the book, there would have been no skeleton to the story unless Abhijaat Joshi and Chetan Bhagat have some telephatic connection and think the same thoughts at the same time, and put them on paper at the same time... which they dont.<br /><br />So yes, my appreciation of the movie is tainted by the blatant disregard for someone else's creative idea.<br /><br />My friend <a href="http://networkedblogs.com/p22876376">Memsaab </a>tells us about her discomfort with the way Rancho was played. (Go read her blog, she's amazing) I agree with her at the somewhat dissatisfyingly unidimentional Rancho. I think if you dear reader, have read the book you will understand his character (Ryan) better. That character was real, and there was a reason for Ryan being so disturbingly and uncomfortably real.<br /><br />Was five point someone stellar writing. Hardly. But it was an interesting and original idea and very true of IIT's. 3 Idiots in its dithering between purporting to being an original story and trying to build a tale on the original scaffold built by another architect else, fails in that it is merely good. It could have been taut and brilliant. Unfortunate.<br /><br />Even more unfortunate, is that VVC comes for a family rife with writers. His nonchalant disregard for what is obviously someone else's creative baby is disturbing and deplorable.<br /><br />I wonder what Raju Hirani was thinking when he read the script. If in his defence he had not read the book... strange... since EVERYONE in India had, and the book has been around for along enough time, he probably needs to be more of a complete director. He needs to read more. As does Aamir! When you are the captain of the ship, the rigging is really your responsibility.<br /><br />The rigging was stolen, so is the plunder now stolen riches?<br /><br />So 3 idiots.. good... I gueeesssssssss.<br /><br />I need something with a high alcohol content and something else crunchy with a high calorie content to feel better again! I need comfort food and drink!<br /><br />And how were your New Year celebrations?Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-83952987892025429812009-12-12T19:10:00.000-08:002009-12-12T19:22:54.170-08:00Why I am interested in Tiger Woods's musical beds.A friend asked in her blog if the media interest in Infidelities was justified. I had a comment to make on her blog. Go check <a href="http://nitawriter.wordpress.com/">her blog</a> out. She is an insightful writer and the blog is very good.<br /><br />Below is what I wrote as a comment on her blog.<br />.....................................................................................<br /><br />I do not see why the media should NOT write stories about Tiger Woods and his shenanigans. Tiger Woods sells and how! As bad boy and good (endorsements). He is a whole economy by himself. PGA will suffer, golf and all its support industries will suffer, why even shaving cream companies will suffer millions and billions if the Tiger Woods brand is devalued by his actions. <br /><br />As such his story is deserving of media coverage and as the ultimate consumers we have the right to be both amused and entertained by stories of his peccadilios; just as much as we have the right to be informed of how the devaluing of his brandname will affect our own purchasing power. Any phenonmenon that affects my saving/purchasing capabilities must be investigated, giggled at, raged at or ultimately shelved for future reconsideration.<br /><br />In the US context, it follows that the brandname devaluing of politicians or other powerful people who behave badly, will affect my life in many ways.<br /><br />Indian or European sexual mores or definition of badboy behavior and brand devaluing is different. The corruptability of the press and also the profitability of the press in other countries is also a factor in what stories are newsworthy in economic terms. I am not going to compare what is acceptable and where. It is apples or oranges to guavas.<br /><br />Money decides everything ultimately in any country, in any era, even how many beds a man or woman can warm. <br /><br />Money also decides if it is acceptable for the aggrieved spouse to rage at the unfaithful one, golf club in hand or to accept the "transgression" in sati savitri fashion.<br /><br />Ultimately money defines a culture and its mores.<br /><br />Men and women have behaved badly everywhere, and in every era. Today, it affects me monetarily. Damn right, I am interested in the gory details.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-86348208771938380932009-10-26T06:07:00.000-07:002009-10-26T06:36:02.809-07:00Google schmoogleDid you know that THE top google search keyword that brings folks to my blog is....<br /><br />drumroll please....<br /><br /><em><strong>CHUTIYA</strong></em>!<br /><br />I guess I am owning it since I talked about Chutiyas and Chutiyagiri a very long time ago. Folks from Argentina to Norway and Patna have been searching for Chutiya and stumbling across my blog. I hope they enjoyed the rest of my humdrum posts too.<br /><br />Okay here is another one : Haraami Kutta!<br /><br />That should bring a lot more people to my blog.<br /><br />Excuse me while I go wash my mouth out with carbolic soap.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-87151906865286024052009-10-23T08:06:00.000-07:002009-10-23T08:59:08.349-07:00In which she gives you a household hint and an excuse to get yourself a drink to start the weekend right!So I can flip from fertility issues to household hints to political rants and then gossip! Yeah, I know sometimes you dont know what to make of me. Sometimes I dont know either. <br /><br />So get yourself a glass of something good, a plate of something fatty and crunchy to eat and start your weekend off right... and read on.<br /><br />I just saved myself a pile of money! Saving money is cause for celebration right? Go on, celebrate with me... go have have another drink! See, I just gave you another excuse to start your weekend already.. did'nt I?<br /><br />Why am I so thrilled? Because I stopped myself... in the nick of time... from throwing away a couple of All Clad pots, that were the stars of my culinary world. I used them for everything. They were very expensive but just the best things that I had ever bought for my kitchen. I think I probably saved up for a few months for each pot, so you know how much I loved them. <br /><br />Recently I have become a less than careful cook and they had become horribly charred. So bad that even steel wool and earnest scrubbing could not rescue them. Everything stuck to the bottom and everything cooked in them tasted burnt. I wrote to the manufacturer and used every possible thing to fix the problem... including <a href="http://barkeepersfriend.com/BarKeepersFriend_powder.htm">this</a> which can basically clean anything off anything. Sigh... I was ready to weep.<br /><br />I had tossed them in the garbage, when an Aunt of mine came to visit from India. She pottered around my kitchen, switched all my spices and pots around until I could not find anything anymore, declared that we did'nt eat enough good ghee and she also lectured me endlessly on how wasteful we were. Worse, she threw away Husband's preserved pickled Herring! You can tell that she was generally begining to annoy me. <br /><br />I was not really surprised when she started frothing at the mouth when she saw the pots in the trash. What she did next though surprised me.<br /><br />She had me dive headfirst into the slimy garbage and pull them out and rinse them off. Then she told me put an inch of water in the pots and soak a cupfull of Sago .. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sago">Sabudana</a>... which is different from Tapioca ... in the water overnight. The next day I was instructed to boil up the whole slimy mess and stir with a wooden spoon/non stick spatula while the mess boiled. Imagine my surprise when the charred bottom bits came unstuck... in huge flakes! No scratches, no elbow grease, no hard labor. It was like a miracle! It was wonderous! My pots were back to thier new pristine glory. It truly is a miracle I tell you. It was like pulling a few hundred dollars out of the garbage!<br /><br />Since then I have used Sabudana to clean pretty much every mess in the kitchen. Counters with stuck on, dried on food like egg or aataa? Those burnt on patches on the oven shelves? Non stick pans which actually do stick if you forget to turn off the stove and are on the phone with a fun friend? Cleaning the outdoor grill? Scuff marks on highly polished dining table? Yeah, you guessed it. Sabudana in its various forms! Boiled up/powdered/gloppy paste. All of them work.<br /><br />Now if I can only get the family to eat Sabudana Khichadi... sigh!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-2277225324247022842009-10-20T16:15:00.001-07:002009-10-20T17:45:15.636-07:00For rent?Amitabh Bachchan has been a larger than life figure in my childhood and adolescence and certainly epitomised my idea of a movie star! I have always admired his acting skills and recently have come to appreciate his writing skills on his blog... though perhaps not the content. <br /><br />Recently his noisy rants have been colorful and mildly amusing being that they come from his august mind. In a post on his blog he writes about gestational surrogacy and his feelings about that phenonmenon. His thoughts are buried in <a href="http://bigb.bigadda.com/?p=3906">this </a>post.<br /><br />As someone who has gone through the entire wretched and excruciating process of fertility treatment, I was disturbed by his remarks. But then he can be excused. He and several others with hardline opinions have perhaps not walked a single step in the painful shoes marked infertility.<br /><br />For me and my husband, while the process was long and sometimes felt hopeless we were blessed to have two children.<br /><br />Has the experience left us completely unscathed? Perhaps not. The psyche is scarred and the joyous presence of our kids is still an incomplete balm. The entire process of fertility treatment has left us slightly different people. Very happy and content, but different. That my friends, is how big the issue of fertility is for many couples. For those who have not walked in our shoes to color the issues as good/evil in broad brush strokes is not warranted. To say children are merely commodities in our eyes makes a mockery of our desire to nuture a biological future generation.<br /><br />I have written a comment on his blogpost and reproduce it here. Every blogpost of his generates a few hundred comments and perhaps my comment will get buried somewhere. So here it is for your reading pleasure and comment.<br /><br />I do reccomend that you read his blogpost too so that you get reference to context. Let me know what you think.<br /><br />My comment follows.<br />.....................................................................................<br /><br />At the risk of sounding curmudgeonly and shaking a virtual finger at you, I have something to say about your view of surrogacy for those faced with fertility issues.<br /><br /><br />It really and truly takes someone who has been through the extremely hellish process that is dealing with fertility issues to understand the anguish, hopelessness and feelings of personal loss that women and men seeking a child are subjected to. As a veteran of that process, let me assure you that even my own beloved mother did not understand my pain during those excruciating years. There is no way she can understand (though she tried hard to see things through my eyes and heart)… just as I do not expect you or Kutty, Madan or Puri to understand unless they are face to face with the issue of thier own infertility.<br /><br />Ofcourse it follows that desperate people seeking a biological child will follow through any avenue allowed by modern science and where legal issues are not insurmountable. Surrogacy is just one such avenue. Does it make someone less of a mother because she did not carry her child in her own womb? Is seeking an affordable surrogate a crime for middle class person? Do middle class people have no right to pursue that course and pay less for the procedure if the “birth” mother (and i use this term loosely) is being also benefited? Is the child going to be less loved because it was not nourished by its nurturing mother’s placenta? <br /><br />I think to color the entire issue in broad strokes with a black paint is wrong and is insensitive to those who struggle with fertility issues.<br /><br />i hear so often… oh why dont they just adopt! yes, that is certainly an option but hearts and minds must come to terms with that eventuality when all other options are useless. Some decide to adopt and some cannot. Does it mean that the ones who decide not to adopt are incapable of loving a/thier child? ofcourse not! So why would I blacktar the issue of a possible surrogacy without considering that there are many shades of grey to that decision… just as there are so many in life. <br /><br />Yes, i do agree with you that laws need to be carefully examined to allow for all circumstances to be covered before the child is even concieved. In that and in adoption laws, India needs a huge wake up call. However to denigrate the avenue of surrogacy as lacking in human values of parental love and affection is wrong. For some of us, it is the only way out.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-49902728293283809492009-10-19T08:27:00.001-07:002009-10-19T08:36:48.437-07:00Pugilistic<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iR5_UrME1tQ/StyFmxe1zvI/AAAAAAAAAGA/X4INWEhB0NI/s1600-h/Picture+119.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_iR5_UrME1tQ/StyFmxe1zvI/AAAAAAAAAGA/X4INWEhB0NI/s400/Picture+119.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394333354847227634" /></a><br />So this is what I have been doing! On many fronts! More to follow.<br /><br />Yeah, that is my strong arm!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-51723222499871183302009-07-09T04:57:00.001-07:002009-07-09T07:17:50.699-07:00Interview with the VampiresThis tag is going around and I loved it. No one tagged me for this. No one ever tags me *sigh* <br /><br />I ganked it from my namesake in Mumbai.<br /><br />As much as I complain, praise and declare my love for my "just turned 5 Son" and "just turned 7 Daughter", perhaps a faithful reportage of my kids own words and actions will give y'all a sense how they interact and think.<br /><br />ME: What is something I always say to you?<br />SON: Behaaaave! <strong><em>*makes exaggerated eye rolling motions*</em></strong><br />DAUGHTER: I love you. <em><strong>*gives me a hug*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What makes me happy?<br />SON:Singing in the shower. <em><strong>*giggles*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: When I kiss you <em><strong>*kisses me*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What makes me sad?<br />SON:Hitting your head! <em><strong>*makes wild and crazy whooping sounds and makes windmills of his arms*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: When your legs hurt, like today. <em><strong>*kisses my left knee*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: How do I make you laugh?<br />SON: Singing in the shower. <em><strong>*now he is rolling on the ground with laughter*</strong></em> <br />DAUGHTER: When you tickle me <em><strong>*looks very serious*</strong></em><br /><br />ME:What do you think I was like as a child?<br />SON:A vegetarian.<br />DAUGHTER: I dont really know. <em><strong>*said very slow*</strong></em> ....IwantanAmericanGirlDollGymnasticsOutfitSetFromSamantha <em><strong>*said very fast*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: How old am I?<br />SON: A million <em><strong>*very serious*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Oldddddddddddd. When are you going to Billy to color your hair again?<em><strong>*very serious*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: How tall am I?<br />SON: 17 feet <em><strong>*said very fast*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: 5 Feet or something. But Dad's really tall. He is the tallest in the family. <em><strong>*squinting at me*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What is my favourite thing to do?<br />SON: Singing in the shower <em><strong>*makes dancing motions and pretend scrubs himself*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Buying Stuff <em><strong>*giggles madly*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What do I do when you’re not around?<br />SON:You coooooook something.<br />DAUGHTER: Go to work.<br /><br />ME: If I become famous, what will it be for?<br />SON: Wearing makeup. <em><strong>*jumps on the couch*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Singing <em><strong>*does some Hip Hop dancing motions and sings Romeo (Taylor Swift) into pretend mike*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What am I really good at?<br />SON:Training <em><strong>*makes weighlifting motions and goes aaaahhhh aaaahhhhhh*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Doing Kick boxing. Sometimes you are and sometimes you ar'nt. Right? <em><strong>*squints at me looking skeptical*</strong></em><br /><br />ME:What am I not really good at?<br />SON:Singing in the shower <em><strong>*very serious and straight face*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Fixing things. <em><strong>*very, very, very serious and straight face*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What is my job?<br />SON: Cooking and talking <em><strong>*runs into the kitchen and comes back waving a ladle in the air*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Stuffffffffff <em><strong>*looks very bored*</strong></em> <br /><br />ME: What is my favourite food?<br />SON:Meat<br />DAUGHTER: Vegetables<br /><br />ME: What makes you proud of me?<br />SON:When you give me a pedicure. <em><strong>*jumps on couch and throws a pillow across the room*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: After you are done getting a shot without crying. <em><strong>*looks very serious*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What makes me proud of you?<br />SON:When I sing in the shower. <em><strong>*proceeds to sing Tomorrow from the musical Annie*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: When I get everything right on my spelling test. <em><strong>*kisses me*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What do you and I do together?<br />SON:You give me a pedicure. <em><strong>*massages his left foot while hopping on the right. Daughter pushes him over. Son falls down. Fight ensues. Son cries*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: Go to the Mall. <em><strong>*looking hopeful*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: How are we the same?<br />SON: Same in a different way. <em><strong>*looks very puzzled*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: We both have black hair. <em><strong>*swings her long hair around and around and around and promptly falls down from dizziness. Spends two minutes crying. I have to kiss her*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: How are you and I different?<br />SON: Mom I want Pancakes! <em><strong>*loud voice*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER: You wear glasses when you read. <em><strong>*soft voice*</strong></em><br /><br />ME: What is one thing you wish you could change about me?<br />SON:Mooooooom I want pancakes! <em><strong>*very loud and swinging aforementioned ladle*</strong></em><br />DAUGHTER:You not wearing glasses when you read. <em><strong>*pulls my glasses off*</strong></em><br /><br />And I tag whoever wishes to take this up. It is fun.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-1097606192303129352009-07-08T11:10:00.000-07:002009-07-08T15:25:25.830-07:00Hunterwalli and the toe that hurts todayNina is a very talented writer who writes some lovely blogs. I enjoy reading her work tremendously. Today she wrote a poignant piece about Life imitating Art and vice versa. Read it <a href="http://popculturedivas.blogspot.com/2009/07/life-imitating-art.html">here</a>. Scenes that bring back feelings, memories and thoughts happen to us more often than we realise. Why, this happened to me just yesterday!<br /><br />Last evening I had a "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fearless_Nadia">Fearless Nadia</a> of WadiaMovietone Hunterwaali /Robert Deniro Taxi Driver "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSuylzFZXb4">you looking at me</a>"/Ralph Macchio in <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpp_jHfykpY&feature=related">Karate Kid</a> " MOMENT. Yeah, all of them at the same time!<br /><br />This was in a traffic altercation in my peaceful little suburban hamlet where a goose crossing the main street causes the 7 man policeforce to come out in full force with lights flashing... to protect the goose!<br /><br />So anyway it is important that AN APE was being impatient and honking madly behind me while I craned my neck to make sure it was okay to make a right hand turn on a red light. He probably was upset because it was getting to closing time at the Zoo and he had to get back to his Apehouse before the zookeeper found out he (ufffff...the ape, not the zookeeper) was missing. The Ape was impatient but I was being careful because I had the kids in the car with me.<br /><br />After the turn was made, the Ape forced me onto the road shoulder and stopped his Apemobile in front of my car. He clambered out of his car and rapped his hairy knuckles on my window. And then ofcourse he proceeded to make an ass of himself by yelling in my ear.<br /><br />Needless to say by this point I was chanelling all three movie characters in thier iconic scenes... Fearless Nadia and Robert Deniro and Grasshopper Ralph Machhio. <br /><br />I just looked at the APE with derision and narrowed eyes ... I was itching to be dressed in a one shouldered tigerskin dress, swing from a tree above him, bodyslam him and then kick his teeth in with my extremely overrated kickboxing skills. At this point I was mentally counting how many of his teeth I could knock out with a roundhouse kick and a left hook! However I was also wanting desperately to be zen. Zen won. YAY ME! Mr. Miyagi would have been proud. I smiled and shut the window in his face. <br /><br />Ofcourse after the Ape left the scene, I kicked at a tree branch viciously in frustration and sprained my toe! I then hopped around on one foot howling with pain in the manner of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FijoZ_M7KqI">PeeWee Herman</a> on a Sunday morning kids show. It didnt help that my pesky kids and thier even more irreverent friend sitting in the back seat howled with laughter at that sight!<br /><br />So many scenes, so many emotions from so many movies in 5 minutes. I even enacted a TV show. Guess I am also plagarising a life script as I move through it. Are the media walas doing it to me too?Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-58397186105035844792009-07-06T07:14:00.000-07:002009-07-06T08:12:31.838-07:00The King sat in his counting house, counting all his money!A blogger whose posts are clever, thoughful and very topical writes about rearing generous, balanced kids in a material world. A very thought provoking post. Go read it <a href="http://karmickids.blogspot.com/2009/07/i-want-i-want-i-want.html">here</a>.<br /><br />Interestingly enough I was in the process of writing a post that covered the same issues... a financial education for my kids. I brought it forward in my long line of unfinished drafts because this topic is red hot in my house RIGHT NOW. Fortuitous or what?<br /><br />What was the catalyst for this post you ask?<br /><br />Well, an unexpected expense reared it ugly head a month ago. A weather related "act of god" (or something like that according to the insurance company) means that we absolutely have to buy a new car. Not the runabout small car which hopefully will continue to run for a few more years *fingers crossed*, but the family car in which the kids and thier friends are transported to thier million activies by "moms taxi company"! Right now as a one car family, we are absolutely crazed. Mom's taxi is also transporting Dad around and the taxi driver (yours truly) is exhausted! We need another car and we need it now.<br /><br />In unexpected ways, the process of buying the car has begun the lessons of a financial education for my kids.<br /><br />At "just turned 7" and "just turned 5" my kids are begining to understand delayed gratification just a bit. Not all of it but some bits. I think the crux of "a financial education" is understanding delayed gratification. The car is now the object of thier delayed gratification.<br /><br />I have involved the kids as much as I can in the process and have told them we need to save up for a new car and must spend wisely in the next few months. The process of physically clambering into new cars at the dealerships, smelling the leather seats (dont ask) and taking test drives with us and being asked what features they would like in the car (son wants a DVD player, daughter wants a moonroof and large cargo area for her bike and picnic coolers) mentally and physically connects them to a tangible goal/reward for saving. I think it makes them as excited to save the $2 the tooth fairy gave Daughter as I am thrilled to save $25 because I only bought the items advertised on the first page of the grocery weekly circular (try it, works everytime). It has given them a sense of what money can do for them. It has made the concept of money more concrete in thier minds.<br /><br />Ofcourse they have thier greedy moments when they need everything they see. The million peices of bubblegum and yet another Hannah Montana made in china T shirt that will fall apart after the first wash, and the sponge bob bubble maker that sputters to a stop when we put the bubble solution inside. That continues, but it is now sporadic not the continous whine it used to be.<br /><br />Now we make plans of what we are going to do and what we need before we go to the mall. A carousel ride or the trip to the ice cream store is a given at the mall, but it is begining to stop at that. We discuss the merits of buying yet more "bear clothes" at Build-a-bear (the worst waste of money I ever saw) versus getting that DVD player option for the car. I think Daughter really gets it. Son gets it about 75% of the time.<br /><br />I think something that has helped the process along fast has been that Husband and I have always tried to live with only what we love. We are very minialist in decor and collecting possesions around us. There are only three things we collect as a family. Clothes (because I love them), books and art (because we all love these). Every June and Jan, Husband and I literally take a trash bag room to room and will remove any item that has not been touched or loved in the last six months. What is removed is given to goodwill. The kids and the Husband make a big production out of the process of this donation. The kids have been watching and absorbing. Over the years, I think the kids will learn to live with only what gives them the most pleasure to be around. Ofcourse for right now the kids continue to keep thier million Barbies and Stomp Rockets and whatnot. Those trash bags arnt in use in the kids rooms... for now!<br /><br />My father, an ex military man has a phrase he likes to use... shipshape. It means that whatever you have must be in the best working order, else it goes out the door. A great mantra for decluttering material or non material things from lives.<br /><br />About generosity. Because the kids had not quite understood the power of money and how to be generous with it until now, we allowed them to build a sense of empathy with the less fortunate by doing things that didnt involve money. Things they could do by themselves. For example daughter said she could help sick kids by growing her hair for locks of love (hair over 10 inches is donated for wigs for kids with cancer). Son doesnt get that yet but he will... especially when we come to India in Aug and he notices the street children conciously for the first time. My daughter was reduced to tears on our last visit and she had so many questions which needed honest answers. This time I want her to start interacting with them in some way. I dont want the interaction to have a patronising flavor at all. I would like her to meet them as equals. She will learn and be helped by them in ways perhaps different from what they will learn from her, but it needs to be and will be a meeting of equals. (Any suggestions of how she can do that on a short term basis in Pune/Mumbai will be most appreciated). Groups the kids belong to, like Scouting is also a great avenue for them to learn to do things for the community. The kids need to learn that there are people who have much less than them. I hope it will make them appreciate thier good fortune later on.<br /><br />There is a long way to go and much time to do it in... it is a process. And I am still learning myself!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-47744184828036594042009-07-03T12:24:00.000-07:002009-07-03T13:05:57.392-07:00Manmohan se Pyaar Hai!She wrung her manicured hands, sindoor streaking down her Jolen bleached forhead, tears streaming down red rouged cheeks, her mermaid style draped Manish Malhotra sequined silk sari rippling against her anguished heaving chest.<br /><br />"NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII NAHIIIIIIIIIIIII! How am I going to get people to understand its not THAT Manmohan I pine for, its THIS Manmohan"<br /><br />Arrey yaar, not the sedate blue turbanned sardar in Sadi Dilli, I am talking about Manmohan Tiwari. He occupies my thoughts now!<br /><br />And you have to ask... who is Manmohan Tiwari??????<br /><br />That my friends is my guilty pleasure. I spend an hour on youtube every evening catching up with a desi show that has captivated my imagination. Captivated it in a "trainwreck but cant look away" kind of way. It is totally over the top, and sleaziness and drama and every cliche is guaranteed to appear. Even the sets and art direction are totally timepass in a good entertaining OTT way. The cast has a spunky protagonist, poets, wanna bes, mama's boys, social and career climbers, men who look like they will either start a fight or start crying at the drop of a hat/dhoti/sari, a villan and every bollywood cliche you can imagine. It is fun. It is timepass and a good one at that. It makes me laugh and weep by turns. Love it!<br /><br />The show is "Rakhi Ka Swayamvar". The premise is The Bachelorette but knowing Rakhi and her propensity for drama shama it will have huge chunks of I Love New York. Lethal combination yaaron!<br /><br />I have <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv5dsXxnkCY">linked </a>Part 2 of the first episode. That should set you on the right track to follow the show everyday.<br /><br />I will be giving you my totally unnessary commentary as often as I can because I am that way... generous to a fault and I like y'all! hehehehe.<br /><br />So will you watch and weep with me? Youtube is free everyday yaar. You gotta!<br />................................................................................. <br /><br />Some unnesecary kuchbhidotcom commentary on the first three episodes follow. Skip this if you havent seen them yet. But come back and read ya hear!!!!!! Else everyone gets spanked!<br />.................................................................................<br /><br />Who do I like the best? Thats where Manmohan comes in.<br /><br />Manmohan Tiwari is T-O-T-A-L-L-Y adorable yaar! He is rocking the Khaike paan banaras walla thing in a lovely earthy and funny way, exactly how Amitabh Bachhan's persona should have stayed before he got all pompous and Harivansh Rai da puttar on us. <br /><br />Yeah thats it... Manmohan Tiwari is Amitabh Bacchan as Manmohan Desai saw him through a camera lens!<br /><br />Manmohan Desai... oh dear I added another Mannohan... let me count em... four!<br /><br />If it was a hindi fillum, Manmohan wins hands down, but I think Rakhi is seeing dhoklas and dollar signs in the form of Elesh. Else she will be happy making paranthas for Cry Baby Face Pappu Punjabi Ingineeeeer Luv. <br /><br />I dont like Luv one bit. Boring aadmi hai and too ghee and paranthas and mummy da laadla looking. Kaafi cliche type lagta hai. He looks like he drinks coffee at Dpauls at Janpath and goes clubbing in Gurgoan in a Honda City. Boring yaar... sorta like what Hritik Roshan would have been like without a good director.<br /><br />I do like Elesh. He seems to have spunk and can laugh at himself. Besides I like Canadians cause they like Beer and Hockey and they live in a country with amazing environmental laws. Hehehehe.<br /><br />As for Rakhi. Ladki smart hai. Us Maharastrian women are not called spunky for nothing :)Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-70855087281550565192009-07-03T04:49:00.000-07:002009-07-03T04:53:37.209-07:00Is Shunyata a complete Zero?Recently someone... whose mind I respect... wrote about Nirvana and the search for a state of Shunyata... something like tranquility/a state of stillness/balance etc. That is the holy grail for all the thinkers amongst us.<br /><br />This is what I suggested that Shunyata meant to me. I reproduce it here. Tell me what you think.<br /><br />...................................................................................<br /><br />Jaani, those who claim to experience shunyata are tripping on some very good ganja!<br /><br />Chaos is soooooo not boring. Chaos and unpredictability of circumstance keeps my blood pumping and all of humankind striving for more.<br /><br />To search for the opposite of chaos would be the death of us as a species. So I would leave the shunyata hunting to the authentic ganja smoking rastas amongst us or perhaps the laziest of navel gazers. I want progress of many kinds. Chaos leads me there.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-44926845257628782532009-06-25T11:53:00.000-07:002009-06-25T12:14:32.088-07:00Male privilege and the little boyRecently, Son who is a newly minted 5 year old has been flexing his independence and big boy attitude and defiance quite a bit. It has been quite irritating, but apart from minor corrections, I was hoping for this phase to blow over. Things like this usually do.<br /><br />This morning at the breakfast table, Son was being extremely uncooperative and quite rude to me and Daughter. Milk and cereal was being spilled, shins were being kicked by excessive swinging of legs, and general defiance was being displayed. Ofcourse I got quite annoyed and told him off. I said that only polite kids were welcome at the table and I expected better behavior from him, since he was a big boy now after his 5th birthday.<br /><br />He puffed up his puny chest, crossed his arms over his stomach, squinted his eyes and in a very low and growly voice said "But Mom I am male and I can behave like that".<br /><br />Ofcourse I had to lecture him about how Daddy is a man too and Daddy is very polite. And have you seen any other men we know behave rudely? He listened and we went on to do our morning routine like normal. I hope what I said stuck in his head somewhere.<br /><br />Where did he learn this from? This very equal opportunity, very liberal home of mine, has no boorish male role models. I cannot imagine his friend's homes being full of rude men. Is this from TV? Where is this from?<br /><br />I think Daddy needs to have a man to man talk with him!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-60471358746158627302009-06-20T19:14:00.000-07:002009-06-20T20:00:19.895-07:00Aamchi Mumbai is not pretty like ShanghaiI was reading a blog by a well travelled woman where she asks why Mumbai is not pretty, planned, architectural heritage concious or otherwise orderly. <br />http://blogs.hindustantimes.com/expat-on-the-edge/2009/06/10/what%e2%80%99s-happened-to-mumbai%e2%80%99s-architecture/<br /><br />My first thought was... perfectly understandable but naive questions.<br /><br />I can see the horror that an organic Mumbai greets the returning traveller with at the airports or the train stations. I smell it, I feel its grit, it haunts my waking nightmares as I run from one moss grown developers monstrosity to another in the puddles of a Mumbai monsoon. I feel its rough hewn unplanned edges underfoot as I travel the roads of Mumbai. Roads teeming with the weight of the unwashed millions all striving to make a living in this megalopolis. I risk my life crossing the street at Regal cinema or Linking road, barely missing being crushed by the insane traffic chocking narrow roads. This is the reality of Mumbai. No doubt about it.<br /><br />It is what it is.<br /><br />As someone with a modicum of a design education, at some level I do mourn the loss of a vernacular motif and am appalled by the general mayhem in planning the city.<br /><br />However I also realise that Mumbai is an everchanging organism, chameleon like and ever morphing to absorb all its economic migrants and new opportunities for economic growth... both legal and illegal. There are few other cities that have not broken under such pressures as Mumbai has. Its strength lies in this resilience. It is because of this quality that I do not question constantly why Mumbai is not pretty, why Mumbai is not orderly, why Mumbai is not the city of my imaginative dreams.<br /> <br />As a design professional with an education in the vernacular motif of Mumbai, I dont see that Mumbai (yeah its Mumbai, not Bombay) had much vernacular architecture to lose after Mumbai became a metropolis in the early part of the last century. Everything had been lost already. <br /><br />Mumbai is an organic city. Haphazard in the manner of burgeoning commerical capitals. Planning and controls is for seats of government not for morphing organisms where commerce is king. <br /><br />To equate Mumbai with European world capitals or even Shanghai is an excercise in idiocy. Not because Mumbai can never aspire to greatness, but because Mumbai is Mosambi to London/Paris/Shanghai's apples or Asian pears or whatever fruit they eat. <br /><br />Mumbai was not made and nurtured by despots. Mumbai also has greater pressures on it than any city has had for centuries, expect perhaps for Cairo and Mexico City. Mumbai happened for commerce and it continues to happen because of commerce. A great leveller and a very democratic in many ways. Mumbai never had a rigid planners like Hausmann to straighten the “goat paths of paris” and to create vistas with alees. Mumbai did not have a despot looking to place his stamp on the land he ruled. Every European city has for the most part been nutured and beaten into submission by despots. Shanghai has its despotic rulers very much in evidence. Mumbais despots have been salaried Municipal Commisoners that went in and out through a revolving door. That is nature of governance in the city. <br /><br />Do I wish that Mumbai had more trees and prettier buildings and nothing was taller than the palm trees and we all drank tea with our pinkies in the air? Hell yeah, I do. But that is not the way Mumbai survives. Can we change things? yes and no. No mostly, due to both resources and will and ever increasing pressures on civic services and land.<br /><br />Wanting things to be like London and Barcelona and Berlin and Shanghai(all of which have execrable architecture alongside the sublime) is for countries with better resourses. Not for mumbai and India as it is now. People need food and employment and standing room first. Yeah, even sleeping room on the pavement sometimes!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-53447195093165907572009-06-14T05:50:00.000-07:002009-06-14T06:04:09.194-07:00To chutiya or not to chutiya?On a blog I read today there was a reference to a word that starts with a C and has a H and some dashes for missing letters. It is obviously a word of abuse and I sat for a little bit wondering what it was.<br /><br />While I drank my morning chai and contemplated how to decorate cupcakes for the birthday barbeque today, I had an epiphany and I realised what the word was. Now ofcourse I had to say it or write it. I simply had to. I had to say the word, and roll it around my tongue and maybe even use it in a sentence or two. Have you ever felt the urge? And how satisfying is that!<br /><br />HAHAHAHAHAHA... my inner writers tourettes syndrome is forcing me to write the word!!!!<br />CHUTIYA! CHUTIYAS! MANY CHUTIYAS!<br />There I typed it. Relief! <br /><br />I find desi verbal abuse so much more colorful and descriptive than the same words in English. Very satisfying to use them in a desi language. In fact when they are in a regional language they are even more satisfying and sound more... you know... naughty and bad boy/bad girl!<br /><br />A few years ago on the way to work, the Husband and I were getting onto a very crowded subway car on a hot summer day. We were being pushed and shoved by a group of robust sardars probably newly arrived from India. Not wanting to exit/enter in a orderly fashion was a clue as to how newly arrived they were. <br /><br />I am not sure who threw out a Chutiya first but the Husband matched them word for word with desi abuse words. There was several minutes of stunned silence. I had to laugh. This very proper and waspy looking bespectacled gora dressed in a suit, matching them... desi gaali for desi gaali. The dichotomy was wonderfully delicious!<br /><br />As we were leaving the subway car, one of the men leaned forward and said to me in a thick punjabi accent... "Behenji app ne unko gaali sikhaya? Bahot accha laga is desh mein gaali sunke" (Sister, did you teach him these words? It felt good to hear these words, so far from home). I was laughing the rest of the day.<br /><br />Actually I have never taught him anything like that. I guess his trips to India had stood him in good stead. He just absorbed!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-31119858613861893132009-06-12T04:13:00.000-07:002009-06-12T04:59:46.386-07:00Bed tea (Ugh!) or hand feeding today?So I woke early this morning and decided to blow off going to the 5 AM Spin class and 6 AM BootCamp Class and just sat on the couch with my laptop and a cup of chai (no sugar, small concession to no excercise). Will I go to my kick boxing class at 10 AM? Probably not. You see I have a birthday barbeque on the weekend to get ready for. Daughter and Son both had birthdays last week. Like all law abiding American families we reserve all celebrations for the weekend...hehehehehe.<br /><br />The husband and kids are still sleeping. The house is silent. I can hear the incessant drippy rain. In the dawn light, my plants look sad and drowned. Even the deer that come into the backyard to forage at dawn, looked sad eyed and rain soaked. Sitting here contemplating life and reading blogs. Its been a while!<br /><br />I read a lot of blogs by men and women in mixed cultural marriages. Desi/desi, desi/nondesi, nondesi/nondesi... the gamut... because I am in a culturally mixed marriage myself. It is very interesting to me, to see how others order and organise thier mixed marriages and lives. There are some blogs by expat men and women who make thier life in India, some of whom are married to desis. It is an eyeopener to read thier thoughts. <br /><br />You see, I always wonder how my own non desi husband views and experiences desi culture. He can try and explain it to me (Hindi sounds phonetically gutteral to him... HUH?) but there is no way that I will ever see it the way he does. My views are colored by own experience of desi culture. I can never experience seeing my culture through western eyes, never mind how long I live in the west. I would have to negate my entire childhood, and existing ties in India to do that. Do you see why reading these expat blogs is so interesting to me?<br /><br />There are any number of outstanding blogs in this category. <a href="http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/">Sharell</a> has a really good one. Do read it.<br /><br />Anyway, I read an blogpost on this blog about "handfeeding a son". There were many interesting comments all of which must be considered for the cultural context of the commentors. Some very good points were made. A thought provoking post. I have thought long and hard about this one for a very long time. It affects me in very fundamental ways because it says something about where we are as Indian women and where we hope to be in an ever changing world.<br /><br />Here was my comment on that blogpost. Go on tell me what you think.<br /><br /><br />"Tradition bound Indian women have had very little decision making power in thier own households especially since they usually also live with thier own traditional inlaws. <br /><br />The only power they have is perhaps over thier own children and they sure do weild that power robustly. Thier sons have also traditionally been thier long term care insurance. What better way to make sure that insurance is active and well, than to bind the child to them with shows of affection and pampering… hand feeding is just one the symptoms. An overt show of affection. It is something that has become an essential part of the fabric of a traditional Indian womans life. Are the sons totally to blame for becoming despotic, lazy gits? Not entirely. It is a product of thier memories and traditions. It is culture.<br /><br />Personally I dont expect Indian men to conform to what western men do, when in the Indian cultural context… if they are a product of and still live in that environment. I know that my own mother would like it, if my husband lay around and was subjected to overt displays of fawning attention by me and her… as wife and motherinlaw… when he visits India. However he aint getting any of that buster! Because thats not the way my own household works.<br /><br />Does all this annoy me? Sure it does, it makes me crazy because I know and have experienced the alternate reality. Is it unfair to expect a woman to labor for a lazy git? Ofcourse it is. However I cannot expect people who have never even imagined another way of life to conform to my expectations of behavior. They will all learn for themselves when thier own shoes bite. It will happen… in centuries perhaps, but change is inevitable.<br /><br />In the big scheme of things, hand feeding a son, or making him chai (I hate that bed tea thing … stinky breath) is small potatoes, compared to being able to make decisions about killing or keeping thier female children and having access to healthcare and being treated humanely when widowed. If my son will support me in these endevours, I will hand feed you for life and make you a million cups of tea. Those are the real choices many, many Indian women face."Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-34419624196548175552009-05-31T05:49:00.000-07:002009-05-31T05:51:50.094-07:00"HDKBDimpledDarling-united India-in-voting-for-a-majority-for-a-party-thereby-making-sure-there-is-a-stable-government-for-5-years"SAY THAT FAST 15 TIMES. SAY IT AND BELIEVE THE TRUTH! BOLO JI, BOLO! ALL TOGETHER NOW.....<br /><br />As I see it, Hamarey desh ka beta, the dimpled darling is still being kept on a leash. So sad na? So sad for us actually.<br /><br />Party mascot and all is just fine, but I would like for him to take up a position where he is ACTUALLY ACCOUNTABLE to the people who vote for what he represents. Party positions are completely meaningless (party president/"working for the youth"/party peon) unless he is accountable to taxpayers and voters. Let him head (or frankly even just work on) a commission/body/movement/even chotta mota ministry that is publicly funded and produces a report, or a quantifiable report or result. Let him show his mettle in political and administrative skirmishes. Let people ask him questions about performance. Let us be the judge of whether he knows what is involved in actually running India. Being annointed scion means more than sleeping on charpois, mild mannered sensible answers... which is expected, not exceptional... at interviews, a carefully written speech or two in parliament and a carefully orchestrated image campaign.<br /><br />To say in broad strokes that "HDKBDimpledDarling-united India-in-voting-for-a-majority-for-a-party-thereby-making-sure-there-is-a-stable-government-for-5-years-to-ensure-projects-get-done" may be statistically true. By the way can you say that Mantra 15times fast just so you will memorise it and always believe that truth?<br /><br />However that fact is no different for example from Kareena Kapoor being the face for a condom advertising campaign and making said campaign successful. It says nothing about how Kareena Kapoor is managing the condom sales or the supply chain for increased condom production due to projected increased sales or whether Kareena knows how to negotiate for a good price for latex. Because you see Kareena Kapoor is not actually designing or producing or touching the condom you are going to be using. There... I probably dashed the hot dreams of a few people!<br /><br />But politics is like that. It can be completely divorced from governance. It can be divorced from the people being admininstered. It can be far removed from the nitty gritty of managing how to make your and my life better or even not letting our lives slide backwards. That is what I fear the Congress Party and the personality cult of Dimpled Darling have done to us. It is "team mascotgiri", without the player going on the field and sweating and coming up bruised and scratched but with quantifiable points. He has not even been in political skirmishes yet, never mind governance ones.<br /><br />Do we make leeway for his "inexperience and youth"? To be perfectly honest the man is a "chaalis saal ka ghoda" hardly a youth or someone who still needs training! At his age, exceptional people should have already shown thier true mettle and shown what skill set they are capable of. Apart from image, "party mascotgiri" and non quantifiable "working for the youth" I am not seeing the very obvious markers of what will make him an exemplary future leader of a billion people.<br /><br />And yes, I expect EXEMPLARY indicators from someone who accepts his annointment as the future PM with so much entitlement. He needs to be good, better than good, he needs to exceptional. He needs for us to see what he is capable of. Nay, we should demand to see that, before we start genuflecting to yet another restructed generation of the Nehru/Gandhi Political Enterprises Limited. Yeah, I said Limited, because it is literally that! It becomes even more Limited when we begin to say Brand Rahul is Brand India.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-30643216636599414942009-04-15T07:29:00.001-07:002009-04-15T07:35:37.867-07:00Competion Aisa Hota HaiThis was emailed to me. I thought you folks might get a giggle out of it.<br /><br />LOOK AT THE VISUAL BOTTOM TO TOP. <br />I think you can click on it to make it bigger and more easily readable.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iR5_UrME1tQ/SeXwQLCJF6I/AAAAAAAAAFg/9ogoGYwlKZc/s1600-h/CompetitionBillBoard.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 196px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iR5_UrME1tQ/SeXwQLCJF6I/AAAAAAAAAFg/9ogoGYwlKZc/s400/CompetitionBillBoard.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324926295065827234" /></a>Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-59627460667433116972009-04-06T15:09:00.000-07:002009-04-06T15:17:09.280-07:00Idher Udher ka inconsequential and gossipy stuffThis is a totally disjointed but gossipy post. I have been commenting on so many blogs that I completely neglected my own. I promise not to do that again. <br /><br />My punishment?<br /><br />a)50 Lashes with a very wet noodle?<br /><br />b)Spanking? <br /><br />Please say B ... spanking, I might enjoy it more than you want me to. Hehehehe<br /><br />So here goes my take on all kinds of silly stuff...<br /><br />Samajwadi party candidate Nafisa Ali, Hottie SRK and Gavaskar's silly debate about cricket and captains and coaches, Miss India's past and present. Bilkul capsule mein. Chota Chota thoughts that I also expressed on another blog.<br /><br />I will deal with esistential, meaning of life posts later!!!!<br /><br />Nafisa is a good polo wife. Karisma is becoming a good polo wife. Both are stylish. Both are lightweights at anything else. Enough said. Any questions?<br /><br />Why did I bring Karisma into it? Frankly I have no idea, but I think Karisma is going to grow up to become Nafisa with more makeup. Really what else can I say about Nafisa and her social activism and her politics. My admiration for her swimming medals, her impressive early forays into writing and the movies, everything is khalaas. Abhi its just bad politics and kissy face with that hot old man Richard Gere.<br /><br />I dont follow cricket... sorry Baba (my dad follows the game rabidly). I think I stopped following it when the cute looking guys my age stopped playing and got fat.<br /><br />SRK is a Marwari in disguise. His game is about his brand name. Gavaskar likes the traditional game with white flannels and tea breaks. Never the twain shall meet. The game leaves me cold, so atleast I can enjoy thier sniping at each other. Fight! Fight!<br /><br />Miss Indias are all bekaar. Boring as hell and with terrible convent school accents. Sabira Merchant as language coach, needs to correct this and then thier diction and speech cadence before Jamuna Pai and Co start "whitening" thier skin. I wish they would all speak in a normal bazaar accent and stop talking about Mother Teresa and world peace. The looks only go so far.<br /><br />And Sushmita and Ash really were not all that fantastic either. Same crappy mold when they were in the contest. Its what they did with thier fame later that made them stand out.<br /><br />Ohhh I think I need to go workout to restore my good humor!<br /><br />More about my workouts later folks. Yes, I am being a good girl. Very good. Making myself a very spankable bottom!Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-16812996578450255842009-03-20T08:35:00.000-07:002009-03-20T08:40:19.269-07:00You would think...that I would update the blog!!!!!!!!<br /><br />I should and I will.<br /><br />Today... urrrrmmm.... tomorrow.... I promise I will. Need to catch my breath first.<br /><br />Let me just say, thank you to all of you who care and wished me solace in these past few weeks. Thank you, I appreciate all your words of wisdom and comfort.<br /><br />I am all better. We are all better.<br /><br />I will be back.. tomorrow.<br /><br />Until then, go get a wild colored and happy looking drink in an outlandish glass and a good book and start your weekend early. All three things are good for the soul.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1939408516379764979.post-37060863410946163702009-02-27T10:07:00.000-08:002009-02-27T10:23:49.245-08:00BereftSilenti etc mos usquequaque exsisto memor.<br />The dead will always be remembered.<br /><br /><br />My friend succumbed his life to illness today 3.30 AM. I have a huge, huge, huge hole in my life suddenly.<br /><br />This morning I had two surreal shopping experiences. I was at a grocery store at 5 am to buy Basil (tulsi) to put on his mouth where his last breath came from. I also went shopping for a brand new suit for him to wear for his funeral tomorrow. He looks shrunken inside it already.Another Kiran In NYChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15949641865013106368noreply@blogger.com29