Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Time to name the Bacchhan baby!

Dear Bacchaan Parivaar ( I almost wrote Sahara Parivaar but that does not work anymore does it),

First I must congratulate all of you and especially the mother who did all the hard work on the birth of the baby. The baby will bring everyone much happiness. For most people the happy and trying bits of parenthood brings to the fore facets of our feelings and personalities that complete us all as human beings.


And then ofcourse... because it is me writing this and I am a cynic for the most part...

Oyee Bacchhan family... is all this asking for name suggestions to make up for not inviting a whole lot of people (who happen to be a teensy bit mad about it even now) to the wedding of the happy parents? If that was such a private happy occasion (and it is rightly so) why should'nt the process of naming the baby be equally private? You are going to name the baby exactly what you want anyway and you have that whole lexicon of Harvanshrai's literary works to use for inspiration, so why the "name our baby please" ploy? Hey, I gotta admit, it is a very cost effective PR excercise though. Everyone feels included and yet everyone gets to be dissapointed at their suggestion not being chosen! However, I have full confidence you will find the name that pleases your family with absolutely no outside help at all.

But you have asked so I shall proceed to beg you to please, please, please stay away from all currently trendy "indo-global" names especially any of the especially popular Russified or Arabicised versions of desi names. Tacky, tacky, tacky!

Thank goodness the names Karan and Priyanka are fading into the distance. About 2 decades ago, it seemed like gali gali mein yet another baby was being called Priyanka or Karan. I am sure that when a mother calls out ... Priyanka... in any gali in Gurgoan, Calicut, Bhatinda or Shillong, a whole slew of teen girls answer ... Si mammina!

Of course now all the grown up Karans and Priyanka's are naming their own kids Ishaan, Ishita, Amaan and Aryan or some Russianised or Arabised version of a moderately desi name. Same difference!

Bacchhan family, you did very good with names like Shweta, Agastya, Navya Naveli, so crack open all those books written by the patriarch and get yourself a name indicating the culture this child will live it's first years in. Something that speaks to the child. Something that speaks for the child.

It is not about how the name looks in neon lights in the future. It is about how much the child likes the name enough, to write it a few dozen times ...in cursive with decorated hearts all around ...all over the back page of an ink smeared, dog eared 5th standard math book.

sincerely,
Mrs. Ashton Kutcher :)

6 comments:

D. Jain said...

I am dying to see what they name her. Maybe I can steal it for our daughter, due in February.

Any suggestions? V. doesn't want anything too "aunty" or too much like a "servant's name," whatever that means.

Anonymous said...

chalo ... the Bacchhan family still manages to give people some thing to do...at least you have a post after almost an year!

avdi said...

"Chhamak Challo" is very in now, thanks to Ra.One.

Champakali sounds good, except kids will call her chipkali.

Maybe Geetanjali will be a good idea. Yeah! Its Tagore, but its literature. Madhushala... ummmm.....

Renu said...

good to see you back...people are so hung up on bacchan family that they can do and follow anything:)

Anita said...

I am with anon on this; it got you to write! :-)

Sparkling said...

Forget the damn subject, I just love the way you write!

YOu always make me smile and some other times think :)

It's been long though.


P.S: Do you have to put that damn word verification! Phew!